Happy Holidays!

I read that some of my fellow preachers are up in arms because Walmart instructed it's employees to say Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas. I guess I march to the beat of a different drummer but as I consider the Scripture, I find that the responsibility for going to all of the world with the gospel was given to the church, the body of believers. God didn't give the privilege of sharing the good news to Walmart, to public schools, or to government. Sharing the good news is the responsibility of believers. My celebration of Christmas is certainly not dependent upon the greetings of a Walmart sales clerk. I wish my fellow clergy would pay more attention to the weightier matters like alleviating poverty, working for peace, and seeing that justice is done.

All it Takes is a Sock!

If you have a sock you have a puppet waiting to be born. Think of what a ventriloquist named Sherri Lewis did with a couple of socks. With a little yarn and a lot of creativity, they became beloved characters for children and adults alike. Lamb Chop and Hush Puppy and Charlie Horse will long be remembered for the joy and fun that they gave us.

It doesn't take much... just a sock!

Practice, Practice, Practice

Ventriloquism, like any performance art, requires practice. I find that the more I have practiced the less I have to be concerned about moving lips. If I pick up a figure I haven't used in ages and try to wing it off of the cuff, and it could be a disaster!

We are all busy but I have found that one of the most convenient times I have to practice is when I am alone, driving down the road in the car. One hand on the wheel and the other hand free to rest a finger on my lips and I can run through the host of character voices and personalities as I go from place to place. At other times, I might practice using my free hand to practice coordination of movement and syllables of spoken text. Other times, I might be using the spare hand to practice figure manipulation. You can get a lot of practice time in if you simply turn off the radio and talk with yourself.

In addition, this kind of practice can allow you to talk things out. Sometimes, things that come to you in these sessions might even become parts of a routine at a later time.

Another way to practice in the car is to allow your figure to have a running commentary on the news you might listen to on the car radio. Maybe turn to a talk show and allow your character to interact with the host or call in guests' points of view. Have fun!

The Ears of the Beholder

As a pastor, I enjoy preaching and using ventriloquism in the children's sermon each week. What struck me today as I did both was what they had in common. The goodness of preaching and ventriloquism is often in the ears of the beholder. My own evaluation of my "performance" today was that I did not "connect" with my audience. They sat in the pews still and staring at me. It sometimes is difficult to tell if they are staring and plugged-in or staring and zoned out. Today was that kind of day. Much to my surprise, as the people left the church,several said it was the best sermon ever. Hmm. . . go figure, I thought to myself. One of the parents said later this evening that my children's sermon was the discussion topic in the car after church. "I got what Pastor Jeff was saying today," said the child to her parents.

Perhaps the lesson du jour is that on the best day and on the less than spectacular day, it is all in the ear of the beholder. If God can speak through a donkey in the Old Testament story of Baalam, then He certainly can use our meager efforts to do His work.

That's the Pastor's Office-- It's where all of the Dummies Are! 

Some of the great things about using ventriloquism as a pastor are that you have a place and an audience that are continuous. Many ventriloquists never have the same audience twice so the character they develop has one or two routines and it never develops much more than that. But the pastor who uses his or her figures on a regular basis will, over time, develop a wonderfully rich character who can be placed in all kinds of seasonal and interesting situations.
The other aspect of this is that the ventriloquist who is a pastor has the opportunity to keep the figures in his or her office. Children will find every opportunity they can to drop by the pastor's office for an impromptu visit with their favorite character. What an opportunity for practice and even more important, what a chance for education and inspiration. It is the bond between pastor and child that will later be important as teens face the difficult choices of adolescence.
On the door to my office is a banner that says "Merryheart: where life is a continual feast." It announces to all who pass by that the mythical town of Merryheart, where all of my figures live, is just beyond the door. New people in the church might ask, "Where does that door go?" They will probably hear, "Oh, that's the pastor's office. That is where all of the dummies live!"

Church Workers-- Full Time Work, Part Time Pay

I have been in the ministry for 25 years and have been in a number of different church settings ranging from the big city to the country church. One thing that remains constant across church size and denominational lines is the personnel practices of churches related to part-time professionals.

You must understand that churches do not fall within the customary employment laws that larger, for-profit organizations must follow. Churches are free to discriminate on the basis of race, gender, or of course, religion. But what troubles me more than this,is the general expectation that part-time professional employees of churches are given positions with a part-time salary with the implicit understanding on the part of the church boards that the church can get full-time work from these folks while providing part-time pay. It happens almost without exception.

From time to time, there are those people who rise up to suggest the inequity and unethical nature of this practice. These "complainers" are often painted as some sort of materialistic heathen who is "in it for the money." Frankly, it is quite bizarre. If these folks were "in it for the money" I dare say they would have not chosen ministry in the first place.

I am of the opinion that the church should be the best employer anyone could possibly have. It should be a place where those working near full-time loads should be compensated with near full-time pay for their efforts. After all, doesn't the Scripture say that the laborer is worthy of their hire? Perhaps I am out of step, but it seems to me that the church should have higher ethical standards, not lower ones, when it comes to the treatment of it's employees.